I think I know what I'm supposed to build.

I don't have much time--it's a shared computer and my co-oworker will be back from Subway soon. He likes the computer to play smooth jazz and will not appreciate the Hold Steady or T Rex. Me, I don't appreciate having to walk around with a headful of big thoughts. There is some kid trying to escape. He's white, long hair, heroin junkie--he's a grunge kid, even if he doesn't know it--and there are official warnings that he is trying to escape custody. I also imagine him busting into this office, or falling from the ceiling. There is no privacy in prison.

I wandered into having the best sort of supervisor ever, and our last conversation has given me a headache. We have to run these groups, you see. And we agree--you would also agree--that the most effective group stems from the knowledge and passion of the leader. I have passion, you know. Where other people have common sense and good looks, I have passion. He's got his existential thing, his personal responsibility thing...there's some kind of Nietshche UberMensch something going on, too, which I have told him to keep off my units.

I'm getting glimpses of what my thing is, and I'm sharing it with him, and he's nodding, you know: these professional listening types. Thinking, and then coming out with: "You know, if no one is telling you what to do, you should develop your own curriculum. And if it sucks, it sucks. But if it's awesome, everybody loves you. Type it up, publish it, you know." Just like that.

And what is this thing, distilled, that I would like to tell these children?

1) You are not alone.

2) You are valuable.

3) There are forces at work--cultural, historical, political, personal--that operate to devalue you.

4) Knowing what these forces are is power, is clarity, can help you remember your core worth and agency.

Anyway, co-worker didn't go to Subway and has returned with a plate full of no-good kid prison food. I must retrun to Smooth Jazz. Everything is daunting, you know. Daunting and exhausting. SO WORTH IT.