Kid Prison

He kept saying "This is a prison." A prison full of children. I did some advance research (mostly from the Juvenile Justice Initiative) where they have an Alex Kotlowitz quote on the home page. A social worker has 19-20 days with these children, so any kind of deep trauma work is impossible...oh, and also? Trauma work is predicated on safety. And these children are not safe. They are in prison. It took a half second for the truth of this to hit my heart region and by then I had started to cry. Strings around my heart broke, but it's not heartbreak, it's that true, deep compassion that feels like a emotional muscle ache. This sensation got me locked into social work. I haven't felt it in a year of office politics and data entry. There was that delicious feeling, plus abject terror in the face of a challenge. My head is racing with possibilities but I do have to sleep, sometimes, and sing a lot. I'll focus on what I have versus what I want: I got a tour; honest answers to difficult questions; got to feel social worky again. So worth it. But believe you me: I want the whole thing.