Tuesday, August 16, 2005

I'm tired, I don't live with my computer, but I checked out other people's blogs, begun and finished in 2001, and have committed to write on this thing. Here's something: my face. Yesterday I was looking at and liking my face, which hasn't been happening much. With all the weight loss and subsequent shape shifting I was having trouble with it. Unfamiliar, harsher than I would like, kind of pointy and severe. So why I am liking my face more? Possible reasons:
1) Some subtle weight gain is making it more familiar to my brain. This is the worst possible reason, and I will not be exploring it further, lest I freak out compulsive eater style. 2) Hormonal and mood shifts are making me all self accepting. 3) My face is good. 4) My brain is doing that thing that brains do, the continuity thing, so that now that my face is relatively stable my internal airbrusher is shifting things around and in general creating a peaceful truce of self-acceptance. Remember years ago how they were selling a reverse mirror? People could see their image double reversed, and witness blemishes and irregularities their brains had evened out years before. They were freaking out. It was a stupid invention. If #4 is the reason, or a combo of #3 & #4, than that's cool with me. Protect me from myself, move the focus to my eyes, let's start all over with mirror games and pep talks.