Highlights

I took a Predictive Index test for work as part of getting trained to administer Predictive Indexes to others, at work. The first day introduced me to three major topics of interest: 1) The new Post-It pen, 2) the trainer, and 3) what will the Predictive Index reveal about ME?

1) Post It has a new highlighter with a post-it flags dispenser in the handle. It is so rad. Mine was blue. Bomb pop.

2) On day one, it was still mostly questions about his big mountain man beard. On day two, when he revealed that he lives in a log cabin in a national forest with no electricity, that he made the logs, that he chose to do this after having been a homicide detective for 15 years, which was after his career as a psychologist, well then. That was it.

3) I was bored, and then I was thinking that I am arrogant cause I'm always ignoring the trainer and doodling and frustrated that people don't get things. This lead to wondering what I would do if my Predicative Index revealed that for all my empathic talk and career choices I am, in fact, a madly driven and highly domineering personality; what if I should run companies and, like, crush the opposition? What if I am entirely wrong about myself, or missing some major axis by which I think I care about people but am actually narcissistically manipulating everyone I know to meet some tremendous drive to power?

In fact, I am a big beating heart, I am so extroverted and people-centered that I may well be a Care Bear, and on all the other indexes I am way left of center: little drive to dominate, little drive to conform, and little patience with routine. Which when I type it out seems fine, desirable, in fact: go me. It's the effect of flattening, though. What about intellectual pursuits? What about insightful mind and introspection? How come it doesn't mention my hair?

It actually dovetailed with the experience of being 30, of going to the Mountain, all these bits and mendings-- I was born like that, all heart and love to give, but luck of the draw: I was born into the family I was born into, and now they are calling me, saying sorry, saying all the things I wanted someone to say before, before when it hurt more. And the poorly constructed shell gets hacked away, revealing Damaged Bear, the bear that was and loves the damaged. Oh, if it weren't for my damn Predictive Index I would go and live with Mountain Man in his Mountain Lair with his obsessive love; except that I need people like oxygen and without electricity how do you update your blog? Carrier pigeon?