Skillz that pay the billz.

I am not going to drink until St. Patrick's Day. In order to save money. Not because I have a drinking problem, although, sure, I replace love with food and then food with beer, sometimes I combine food and beer and crying with my cousins, sometimes I prioritize beer above food or CTA money or my medical loans, but that is not why I'm not drinking for a month. Friends, I am broke.

Jesus said something about the lilies of the valley. What was that again? Because I can't breathe and I just keep thinking that lilies would be nice, Tuesday is St. Valentine's Day, and St. Renegade is brainstorming internet hustles to support the Lord's work. I feel unduly burdened. I feel like I was given my Purpose Driven Life: social work. And my Personality Driven Life: I like my free time. So why should a decent Masters level clinician have to get a second job? I mean, I buy clearance clothes from H&M. I drink High Life. I'm not Big Pimpin. I'm Big Scrimpin'! Hollaback!

The woman I was hired to replace had another job, it was rumored. She'd work at 6 AM on some sort of crisis line. She also ran a marathon and mentored a kid. What a good person. I want to think she was a speed freak...I am picturing her secret stash...and there. I have just decided to know that she was a speed freak, because I can't stand how whiny and self-pitying I feel right now. I don't want to think that I have made a series of choices that really didn't seem bad at the time but now maybe add up to panic and worry and bankruptcy. My Hippie Doctor friend is selling sex toys at home parties and going to med school and calls me sometimes when she isn't stripping wood floors or collecting cans. So I should get a second job, right? I mean, I still have my hands. Some people don't even have hands.

Please send employment ideas. Really I would prefer shady and scandalous hustles, but use code words. Oh, here's a code word: prayer. Pray that I stop being such a shameful Saint, all whiny and petulant. And pray that I get a part time job that involves talking, reading, dancing, and napping.